Bed .. 1 .. Me ... Nothing..

Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Draven smeared food something all over the wall! This is what I hear as I am cooking dinner. Wesley grabs Draven to wash his hands and I go investigate the wall. I grab some cleaner and a towel and I head into their bedroom. I am looking at the walls. No, Mommy, it's up there. Pointing up to the ceiling of the top bunk... greeeeaaaaattttt.... How am I ever going to get my fat ass up them stairs? I try out the first step and head up the bunk bed. I step onto the last rung of the bed and about to get onto the bunk when the step snaps under me. Immediately my right foot falls through the splintered wood. My knee cap bangs down on the step and the second step cracks and splinters and my right foot falls through that stair and again I bang full weight onto my left knee cap. So I am screaming and crying by this point. Serenity is panicking. I drag myself out to the living room to investigate the damage while I tell Reni to go get Daddy it's an emergency. I have a pretty high threshold of pain but I am sitting in the chair sobbing in deep breaths from the pain.

My right ankle and foot are completely scraped and bruised and my left knee feels shattered. I am sobbing and sobbing to Wes about how bad it hurts.. he examines my knee and helps me over to the couch. He asks me if I want to go to the hospital and I hesitate. I want to go because it hurts so damn bad but I don't want to go cause... it's the hospital. I tell him I'll let him know after dinner. We sit down to the home made potato soup I made with some more Big Bang on DVD. I am starting to feel a little better from my leg being propped up... dinners over I have to pee. I get up to walk to the bathroom. I put a little pressure on my knee and my leg buckles. Luckily Wesley caught me before I hit the ground (again)... he helps me to the bathroom as I am sobbing again.... Again he asks me if I want to go to the ER and I hesitate and ignore the question. DVD is over I ask Wesley to help me to the bath tub. I crawl in the bath and the water feels great on my knee. I go to stand up to get out of the bath and I actually lean on my knee and I hear a huge pop and instant horrible gushing pain. I cry for Wes again. He helps me out. Helps me get dressed and asks again, if I want to go to the ER. I tell him no because it's already past his bedtime and he needs to work tomorrow. He goes to bed and tells me to wake him if it gets worse. It's worse. The pain is pretty unbearable. But, I don't want to wake him... All this over a mess on the wall... sigh.

Wedding Planning...

Ah, Budget, isn't that the kick in the teeth when you are planning for anything? So, I had to forgo my happy hopes of an "all seasons" wedding and decided on an all night sky themed wedding. Everything was done in shades of blue (lt blue, ice blue, metallic blue) and silver to represent the sky. My bridesmaids dresses were a lt blue and my maid of honors was going to be silver. The groomsmens vests were a dark blue the best man was silver. Now to choose a venue...

We came and went to many places looking for the perfect one when I stumbled across the 356th Fighter Group in Green, Ohio. Wesley was joining the Air Force, let's give this place a try. Got the gang together and went to look at the venue. The minute I walked into the banquet hall I knew it was for me. The whole room was made out of GLASS. Glass walls, glass ceilings, absolutely perfect for my night sky theme. What's better then having the actual stars shining down on you. Venue was chosen. Menu selected. Theme picked. Time to go dress shopping.

On our first excursion out, it was me, Terra and Brandy. We went to David's Bridal and were not very impressed. Then found a cute little shop in North Canton and went there. We quickly picked out the bridesmaids dresses but found they didn't come in silver so we chose a different style for Terra. Tried on a few wedding dresses when I found "the one". Looking back on it now I really do wish I would have fought harder to wear white. My mom was being old fashioned and since I already had Serenity she didn't see it as being a good match for me to wear white and asked that I chose an ivory gown. Although i did like the style of my dress every time I look at pictures I wish I would have looked harder and found "the one" instead of the "it will do". I didn't want ivory and I hate pearls and weird enough my dress had tons of pearls which we incorporated into the tiara, necklace and earrings... weird...

Dresses selected it was time to inform all my girls to go have their dresses tried on and sized... and here is where my problems began....

Wedding's lead to problems...

There is a saying, the more trouble you have on your wedding day the happier your life will be together. Oh isn't that the truth. I had nothing but problems leading up into the main event.

After our engagement was set in stone (1 1/2 karats to be exact *wink*) and my parents were notified, I set about picking the wedding party. All wedding parties start with the bride and groom of course, but a close second comes the maid of honor and best man. No doubt in my mind since I was a teenager that my maid of honor would be, Terra. Wesley had another problem. He wanted his little brother as his best man. Of course that was thrown out the window quickly so he set about deciding which on of his closest friends would be his best man. Having a tough decision he decided to go with the friend he had the longest and decided on Drew. =)

Next came the bridesmaids and groomsmen. Easy decision, I picked my 4 closest girlfriends. My 3 best friends from Massillon and my closest friend from Louisville (not counting Terra since she was already the maid of honor). I sat down and called all my friends one day and they were all thrilled. 4 bridesmaids and a best man and maid of honor set, now comes the groomsmen. Adam and Don were an easy choice since we were both good friends with them. Picking 2 more seemed to be a bit more difficult. I adamantly refused that Wes ask his friend Josh to be a Groomsmen since when Wesley told Josh we were getting married, Josh replied, Why? You could do so much better... yeah, you shouldn't be in my wedding if I am so horrible. I later had to change my mind but I won't ever forget that you said that... Josh... I now realize that Adam's little brother Trevor should have been a groomsmen, he was such an easy choice, but I didn't have the close relationship I have now, then. So, Wesley's other friends Adam and Chayne were asked, and both had agreed.

Four bridesmaid, Four groomsmen, Maid of Honor and Best Man all present and accounted for... or so we thought. Plans for the wedding commence.

I originally planned on having an April wedding since I wanted to be married right away. That later fell through and with one problem after another was pushed back to the last week of September. To find out my cousin had already claimed that day. (Great, their wedding was indoors, mine out, weather gets colder come October... sigh) so, October 4, write that date down.

My first instinct was to get married at the Lakeside Center. It was gorgeous, held an outdoor wedding scene, and I had my sweet 16th birthday there and I really enjoyed it. We picked a day, my mom, Wes and I and Terra went to check it out and learn more about weddings held on location. In come the problems. The gazebo for the wedding was set (on the water) and the only people who fit in the gazebo were the wedding party and the preacher, possibly parents, so everyone else sat on the sidelines and couldn't see inside the gazebo (what a stupid idea, you invite your guests so they may witness you being married, why shouldn't they be able to see you... *I second that motion after witnessing Wes's sisters vows there and not being able to see a lick of what was happening*)
Second problem came in the fact that they did not have food there and would have to be catered by an outside party and therefore became more expensive.
Out went the Lakeside Center.... much to my disappointment.

I picked two different themes, later settling on the second, easier, option. My first theme was to do the 4 seasons. Each one of my bridesmaids and groomsmen would represent a season and the 4 different corners of the room would be decorated (spring, in lavender and purple with soft flowers and pastels decorating the tables. ) (summer in bright golds and soft greens, with sun bursts and bright flowers) (fall done in burgundy and brown, green, and gold, with fall leaves draped around the tables and flowers in oranges and reds) (winter done all in silver and bright white, with silver snowflakes and white roses adorning the table) My bridesmaids would be in the 4 seasons, Michelle as Spring in a flowy pink gown with translucent overlay in flirty angles. Hair done up with a crown of spring flowers, drop out girl would be summer, in a satin gold gown with her hair adorned with sunbursts in gold, drop out girl 2 as fall in a satin burgundy gown with her hair adorned in a crown of fall leaves, and Brandy as winter in a sparkly silver gown with her hair done up with snowflakes. Terra would somehow represent mother nature in a flowy green gown. The groomsmen would match their ladies with Adam wearing a pink tie and vest to match Michelle, drop out boy with a gold tie and vest, Don in a burgundy tie and vest, and drop out boy with a matching silver tie and vest. Instead of having flower girls as my bridesmaids walked up the aisle Michelle would drop pastels flower petals, drop out girl would drop sun confetti and daisies, drop out girl would drop fall leaves, and Brandy would drop white rose petals mixed in with silver snowflakes... (You may think I am crazy but I can still picture it in my head and I think it would have been gorgeous.) But, when everyone kept dropping out I finally gave up on the idea... still disappointed I had....

To be continued....

Hit and Run

I know what your thinking... it's not that big of a deal, it happens all the time, but it is a big deal and it shouldn't happen all the time.

Tonight on our way to get some Burgers we were involved in a hit and run accident. We were driving down Florida 98 heading eastbound towards Ft Walton Beach. We were doing the designated 55 mph when this guy/girl cuts across three lanes of traffic (pulling out of a bar mind you) to smack right into the drives side of our mini van. My husband, seeing him coming tries to at least slow down (55 mph on a high way there is only so much you can do) he hits us in the side, spins his vehicle around into the grass, straightens himself back out and takes off like a flash.

So, we had to pull over our 3 lanes of traffic on a busy high way onto the side of the road. (A BUSY High way!!!) There is tons of traffic and NO ONE stops to bear witness... jerks.

My poor babies are in the back seat screaming and crying and shaking they are so scared. I got out of the vehicle and took them out into the grass to make sure they were okay and to hug them and calm them down.

I ask you, how is karma going to bite this guy in the ass. Hitting a mini van w/one service member that protects his country and 3 small children.

The only thing we got before he drove away was it was a sedan. It was dark out and I didn't even get the color... (luckily the police pointed out the white paint)...

Hopefully there will be some justice and this ass hole will be found. It is one thing to get into an accident *cause hey its an accident*, it's another thing entirely to hit someone and take off. Trust me Karma is gunning for your ass*....

Progressive is coming out tomorrow to survey the damage. So, great we have to pay a $500.00 deductible and its not our fault... keep your fingers crossed they find the ass.

Bachelor Party

October 2009

I have been debating whether I should divide my wedding up into a few stories or get it out in one long winded blog. I think I have come to the conclusion I should divide it up into days... then I can remember every detail, plus I can add more pictures =)

I don't know what aspect and day of the wedding I should begin with. I didn't have a bachelorette party (much to my chagrin even to this day) so I don't have any juicy stories about that, I can tell you about Wesley's bachelor party (what details they told me), it's kind of funny. Let's begin there.

Let me first tell you, I am probably one of the most laid back individuals in the world. I don't recall a day in my life that I have been jealous of another female or worried that Wes may step out of line. The joys of trusting your mate. So, I laughed off the concept of a bachelor party when the guys told me... do whatever you want, I said, have fun.

So, apparently fun consists of making an ass out of yourself at the bar where you drink your cokes out of big boy cups and sing about it being mead. Then taking all the boys up to the (all nude) strip club... (whatever floats your boat, boys) I have to say the most comical part of their adventure was the dollar bill incident. I guess the lady at the strip club was a super class act and told the boys to put the bills between their teeth and she took them with her vagina. Yummm... just where I want to stick MY nose. To this day, Adam still gets made fun of for it. Because every time this lady would come back around to do her nifty little trick again, Adam would fold the dollar bill a little bit smaller each time. From what I hear it was pretty much non existent by the end and he was ALL UP in there. Delicious...

Year One of Parent Hood

-2002/2003-

I have now dove in both feet first. I am 19 years old with a new born baby, imagine that, I had no siblings, I had never even so much as held a baby before her. So, I had a lot of learning to do. Fortunately, I think the saying is true, (for the most part) we are born to be mothers. (Some not so much)... but I was born to be a mother, I really believe that.

When Wesley and I were just getting to know each other back in high school, one day he looked at me and said, "Your going to make a great mother some day". Ugh, I instantly panicked. Oh great, this man just sees me as some maternal/sisterly type person and will never see me as anything more. So, naturally my face fell, and he asked me what was wrong... I said you, "you just said I remind you of a mother". He said, "I didn't mean it as an insult, I meant that I could possibly see one day you having my children because you are going to make such a good mommy" Well, didn't that cheer me right up, lol.

Now it's time to prove him right. I doted on my daughter. We lived with my mom and dad while we sorted our lives out so Serenity was absolutely spoiled rotten and to this day still has the closest bond with my mom.

Wesley started out working Full Time at Wal-Mart. Wasn't that dreadful? He had a full time job, never was taught how to drive, I had to drive him to work everyday with a baby in tow, he worked long hours and I raised the baby. Finally, I had enough with the driving him everywhere and asked that someone teach the poor man how to drive and we get a car. He wasn't allowed to drive my mustang that we were still paying on, so learning how to drive in that was out of the question. We finally got his uncle to teach him how to drive and he passed his test. My dad took him to mullinax where he picked out that hideous green focus he still has... (I tell you he would not have that car if I went that day).

Now comes the hard part. Paying bills. We are struggling to keep the baby in diapers, food, clothes, formula, gas money and now a car payment on a Wal-Mart minimum wage salary... wasn't happening. He tried many, many other places, they either weren't hiring or didn't hire him. He was getting frustrated. I tell you I've never denied his lack of commitment to his family. Since the day our daughter was born he has worked his ass of to provide for his children.

He comes to me one day in early June 2002 with this crazy idea... He wants to join the Air Force. Oh No, I say. Oh HELL NO, do I say. You aren't going to leave me to raise a baby while you get shot at overseas... hell no. He tried to talk to me and I refused to listen. I would have no part of a discussion that involved my man going to war. I shut it out.

Well, that's not how my Wesley works when he sets his mind to something. He starts doing research online. He comes back to me a couple of days later and tells me, he would be making a salary, have benefits for all of us, get money for housing and groceries and will more then likely be stationed somewhere in the United States and work like it is a normal 9-5 job. Sounds too good to be true, I tell him. He asks that I allow him to call a recruiter and we sit down and talk with him... alright, I say, but I still have the power to say no. He assures me if I still have doubts after talking to a recruiter then he will throw away the idea.

He sets up the meeting. Sgt O'Brien was his name. He meets us at the Wal-Mart cafe after Wesley's shift to answer all our questions. I realize now it was his job to talk us into the Air Force, so trust me when I say he made it look all like sunshine and lollipops, to where I would be a sucker not to say, yes.

In a flash starts all the testing, he must take the asvab and receive a 60 or better to qualify, he must have his eyes examed and a full physical. Asvab comes back with the score in the high 80's, he had perfect 20/20 vision, just what a pilot would need, and he was the perfect specimen of health. Round 1 complete.

Next comes all the paper work, shipping dates (my only exception to joining the military is he would NOT leave for basic until after our wedding in October), vaccines were injected, degrading physicals, more paper work, transcripts achieved both from high school and college and he receives his ship out date, December 3, 2003.

It's happening. My husband is a member of the United States Air Force. Well, he wasn't sworn in yet, but it was coming. The summer flys by and our wedding date is quickly approaching. After 3 years of dating it's finally time to marry my best friend....

Sweet Serenity

*Everyone is always stunned to hear this whole story so I will try to leave in all the details.*

It is now October. I am given the due date of October 27 for the birth of my daughter. I am so excited. I make a deal with God. "Please, God, put me in however much pain you want, make me suffer, just so long as you give me a healthy, happy, little girl."


Friday, October 18th I start feeling the contractions hit through out the day. They stay 15 - 20 minutes apart so I do not concern myself with them for awhile. I am worried though that Wesley isn't home and I had no way of contacting him since he was out with his dad so I just prayed he got home before I went into full labor. The day drags on and my contractions slowly wind down to 5 minutes apart. It's Friday night so my dad heads into work, Wesley and my mom take me to the hospital. I change my clothes and get into their stupid little gowns. They strap me into the monitor and check our vitals. The doctor comes and check my dilation. Nothing. He has me get up and walk around to speed up the process, 2 excruciating hours of walking later through contractions, nothing. Since I am not dilating they send me home. GOOD JOB MERCY!! So, I survive the night. I can't sleep because who can sleep with contractions 5 minutes apart. 8:00 am comes. My daddy gets home and I beg my parents to take me back to the hospital and MAKE them admit me... I can't take it anymore. We head in. Contractions still 5 minutes apart. Hooked back up to the monitors... I've dilated to 5 centimeters over the course of the night, yay... the way I felt I thought the baby was coming. It is now Saturday morning, the 19th of October, sweetest day =) Not so sweet for me, lol. Later in the afternoon they finally decide to give me an epidural. They keep putting it off because they say it slows down the labor process. It is now Saturday night and they decide to break my water. They break the water and it is green. (Now, I'm not a doctor but green water means the baby is in stress....) oh well, they think, they wait out the dilation. I hit 8 centimeters late Saturday night. I survive another night of being in labor. Sunday morning hits. My mom and dad and Wes stayed through the whole time. My dad is pacing the floor and looking very anxious. He never does that. I hear him ask to talk to the doctor and my mom and dad corner him in the hall way. It is now 9 am. I whole 50+ hours since my labor first began.

My mom and dad come back in. My mom hides in the corner and my dad comes up and takes my hand. The doctor comes in and checks my dilation again and sees I finally hit 10 centimeters ... but they are rushed now. The sterups come up. One nurse gets up in the bed with me and another nurse is forcing my legs apart as far as they go. The doctor stands there and tells me to push. As I push the nurse pushes down on my belly.... what the hell is happening? The doctor informs me we need to get the baby out as quick as we can. 10 minutes of this torture and the doctor tells everyone to stop. He heads back out in the hall way with my mom and dad hot on his heels. Wesley comes up and holds my hand, smiling down at me, letting me know we are going to see our baby soon.

My daddy comes back up to me. Takes my hand again and he is crying. My dad doesn't cry... what the hell is going on. The doctor comes back in and informs me they are going to do an emergency c-section. The babies heart beat has dropped dangerously low and it is imperative they get her out right away. I start crying too. They are going to cut me open? After 55 hours of labor they are going to cut me open?

I want my mom and dad there, I need them. But, I am only allowed in one person. Of course I must choose Wesley. Although I wanted him there, I wanted my mom and daddy there too. I was upset. They give Wesley his scrubs, head me into the operating room, dope me up a whole lot more and a whole bunch of pulling commences. Wesley keeps brushing my hair and telling me how good I am doing and we are going to see our baby in minutes. A great pull happens and the nurse tells us the baby is out. They don't show her to me... I want to see her!!! She isn't crying... why isn't she crying? A long time goes by and they are sewing me back up. They won't let Wes over to see her and it's not like I could get up. I am shaking so bad at this point from all the anesthesia and I am nauseous and throwing up bile. (Let me tell you the thought of throwing up with your stomach open is a terrifying thought, I thought I was going to rupture something and I tried so hard to swallow it back, it wasn't until a nurse told me it was okay to throw up that allowed myself to) a long time goes by and my baby finally starts crying. My baby. =) My sweet Serenity Autumn is crying her lungs out. I am still strapped to a table but they finally allow Wes to take her for a minute. He brings her over to me and we are both crying. They wisk her away and take me to recovery. I quickly fall asleep after 55+ hours of labor, no sleep, and a ton of anesthesia in my system. SO my beloved Wesley follows them to the nursery, watches them clean her up and get her ready and follow them down past the waiting room where my mom and dad get their first look at her. Everyone is crying. (I have pictures to prove it, hehe) all the while I am pretty oblivious to the world around me.

In the meantime, Wesley makes a call to spread the joy about the birth of his daughter. I wasn't there, I don't know what was said. He just tells me later that the only words he heard were, he ruined his life and he was heart broken. My mom came into the room to the screaming she heard on the phone and my poor Wesley balling his eyes out. She walks over to him, tells him it is a happy day and to hang up the phone. He does. My mom consoles him. Tells him he helped bring a beautiful miracle into the world and it was time to start our own family. He agrees and jumps into a new life with his soon to be wife and his new beautiful 7 lb 14 oz, 19 inch long baby girl. Serenity Autumn born at 10:20 on October 20, 2002.

I am put into my room where we stay and I wait anxiously for them to bring me my baby that I've waited so long to hold and see. I am no longer strapped down. I want my daughter. I want to hold her. Hours go by. They don't bring her to me. I finally demand that Wesley demand they give her to me. 8 or so hours after her birth, they finally bring me my daughter.

I am oblivious to the fact that there is ever anything wrong. My daddy on the other hand is pissed. He spends more time in the hallway talking to people then he does with me and his grand daughter. I don't understand why he keeps leaving. I don't understand why he has yet to come in and hold the baby.

He finally allows himself to come in and take the baby and sit with her for awhile. Lovingly looking down at her. I am so happy. My world is so complete.

A few days later they allow us to go home to start our new life. I have a newborn baby to take care of and a wedding to begin planning (I originally scheduled for April, but I really wanted a fall wedding so I held out until the following October).

It wasn't for a few years that I actually got the WHOLE story. My daddy never wanted to hurt or scare me.

The nurses tell my dad that the doctor did EVERYTHING wrong. He never should have sent me home the night before because the babies heart beat already wasn't as strong as it should be. And he definitely should have sent me in for an emergency c-section the moment they broke my water and it was green. They left my baby in stress for over 5o hours.... when they finally did the c-section her heart beat was almost non existent. The nurse told my dad the horrifying fact that my darling daughter was born, dead. Remember me telling you we heard no crying and they wouldn't show her to us? They had to clean all the gunk out of her lungs, get her breathing again, and restart her heart... how dreadful to know that. Believe me had I known sooner that doctor would have NEVER worked again. It's why I didn't get my baby for so many hours after wards because they were monitoring her heart and breathing.

God kept his promise though... 55 hours of labor, tons of pain and I didn't complain once. My daughter is perfectly healthy, happy, intelligent, energetic 7 year old. I am just so upset for the pain and misery she endured during that time.

That is the birth of my daughter Serenity.... now you know.

Surviving Full Sail

College has began. I am here, this is where I want to be, everything is going great, Wes and I are back together, no more fights, we start going 4-8 hours a day. We get an after school job at Spirit Halloween over the fall, fun times. October comes and Wesley decides, he wants to marry me. He allows me to pick out my engagement ring and we start making payments on it. $1,500 later in payments and my ring becomes mine. In the middle of the crowded Florida mall Wesley gets down on one knee and asks me to be his wife. I'm beaming. He's all mine. One day he will be my husband and all will be right with the world.

Until we decide to go home over fall break. We head home for a week, no one knowing but my mom and daddy, and surprise everyone. I stay by his side through everything, through every visit to family and friend, where he asked me to be. No visit going well and only ending in my heartache he decides to stop visiting people.

We get a hold of our good friend Don and decide to head up to Akron with him for one of the play off games, the game goes by with a Massillon Defeat and my Football loving man is down in the dumps... nothing like he is about to be, though. One of the biggest most outrageous fights that still makes me queasy commenced right there in the football stands. Wesley is looking down at his feet the whole time muttering under his breath. He finally looks up at me, looks me right in the eye and asks me to give him my engagement ring, that he is so sick of this and it's not going to happen again. I blatantly refuse. I am not giving him the engagement ring that I helped pay for, he isn't doing this to me again. Crying my eyes out I keep repeating over and over, not again, not again, don't do this to me again, you promised, never again, over and over I said it. I always think now that it should have been my final straw. I really should have said okay, gave him the damn ring and walked away, because he promised, he was NEVER going to hurt me again and here I am again, like a sap standing there getting screamed at from 10 directions only looking at Wes and telling him to forgive ME! Nonsense now... but I didn't think so then. He finally prys himself away from the scene and starts walking back to Don's car. Me like the good dog I was, right on his heels. He isn't talking to me, he isn't talking to anyone. We wait by Don's car for him to come out of the booth from announcing the game, opposite sides. Tears are running down my face as I wait. Don finally comes. I sit in the back seat alone and stare out the window in a stunned daze the whole way home.

Now, I pride myself in having a terrific memory. I remember everything like an elephant. But, for the life of me I do not remember what happens after that, what discussion we had that made it all better. I do however remember not coming home for anymore visits until school is over. My mom and dad came to us for Wes's birthday, Christmas, and they sent Terra down to spend my birthday with me.

It is the week of my birthday when our lives changed. I became pregnant with my daughter Serenity. I was only 19. I still had 8 months of school to get through but I was never scared. I was so excited. I didn't plan it, I didn't mean for it to happen, but God did.

The next 7 months were pretty unbearable though. 16 hour days at Full Sail began. I wasn't eating enough or getting enough sleep. I was always exhausted and I landed myself in the hospital a few times. School ends and I am now 8 months pregnant and ready to go home...

My mom and dad come get us, pack us up and we head home. 8 months pregnant, engaged to the love of my life and no idea how I am going to support my family with a baby due in less then a month...

Through the worst of times...

Hot damn, 5 hours of sleep later, let's continue on with my story... (I have a horrible sleep schedule, you will learn that as we go on....)

Let's try to get through the really painful parts as quick as possible. The summer of 2000 was one of the best of my life. My best friend had become my boyfriend (I still say it was so unromantic the way he asked me too, lol, we were on the phone chatting, and he said, "so, I was talking to my buddy Drew about you, and he asked me if we were just friends or if you were my girlfriend, so which are you?" I kind of scoffed at it and asked him, "is this your way of asking me?" He said, "yeah". So, this was sometime around the end of June, but since I can't remember the exact date of the conversation I always say our official date of relationship was on July 4, 2000, our first actual date and day spent with each other. We had so much fun that summer. Late night runs to my house almost every night, phone conversations that went on for hours, movies and dinners and just being together, I never felt like this before. School starts and everything is just as great. Walking to classes hand and hand, kisses in the hall way, private jokes, and there was never a doubt in my mind that this boy loved me as much as I loved him. Our first homecoming dance was amazing and so much fun...

then fall hits and shit hits the fan.... fast forward from November through May, and one of the absolute worst and most painful times in my life, ups and downs, constant break ups and make ups, and like an idiot, every time he broke my heart, I went back for more. Winter homecoming was dreadful and painful, a horrible trip to Disney where even there he couldn't relax, after 7 months of walking through most of my life in a painful haze the end of the school year comes and I find out I failed my world history class. Of course it is the class I always had right next door to Wes. Of course this was the class that I read all my break up notes and why it was best for both of us and hearing what a terrible person I was. Gee, I can't imagine how I managed to fail that class with how well my life was going. So, because of that class, I couldn't graduate. (I still have nightmares about it, I still wake up in tears from those dreams when I find out I can not graduate, but, like the idiot I was I went to my graduation ceremony, for my friends to support them, and for him....)

Graduation ends and I go up to congratulate him before anyone else can. He quickly tells me he will meet me later that night and dashes off so he isn't seen with me. That was the end. He never came that night. A week went by with sparse phone calls, his graduation party I was not allowed to attend, and me sitting around waiting for him and doing a lot of crying. He finally calls to set up a date to go to the drive in. He has our friend Chris and his girlfriend pick him up so we can all go together. This my friends, was the end of it all... or so I thought.

Chris shows up at my house in a stunned stupor. He tells me that Wes isn't coming and one hell of a fight broke out before his eyes. I thank him for coming and go sit down in my chair and weep. Not 5 minutes later I get the worst phone call I've ever received in my life.... from him. "You ruined my life!" "You have to leave me alone" "We can't even be friends" "Don't call me, I have to cut all ties with you" "Leave me ALONE" ... click... I lose it. Enduring 7 months of pain for it to end like this. I sit down in the corner and cry my eyes out. Hysterically sobbing to where I can't catch my breath, hyperventilating before my mothers eyes. Helpless, she tells me to forget him, I don't need the pain anymore, it's over and I can move on with my life.

I continue to live after this... not well, but I survive each day. I start sleeping with my mom for awhile and I stop eating. (I know what your thinking... you need to stop eating... haha funny...) June starts dragging by. An endless summer I don't want to endure. Summer school at McKinley High School. The worst part is, I know if I don't receive my diploma before the end of summer then I can't start at Full Sail in September. I drag myself up early every morning and drive over to McKinley where I spend my summer in a history class. A perfect A later I can receive my diploma. Every night for a month I sit down under the big oak tree in my back yard and pray he will change his mind, that just once he will come to see me so we can talk, so it doesn't seem so final.

June 15 (and I remember the date because it was my mom and dad's wedding anniversary) we go out to dinner to celebrate their anniversary. When we get home the caller i.d. is flashing, I pick the phone up to see who the call was from.... it was him... he called me and I missed it.... I was heart broken. I sat around the rest of the day and prayed the phone would ring again, but, it didn't.

A few days go by and I start noticing his aim is starting to show up in the box again. He hadn't had internet for over 6 months. I ignored it because I did what he told me to do.... I left him alone... I never called, wrote, texted, e-mailed, I did what HE asked me to do, I let him go. Not 20 minutes later from noticing he was online I received an email.

He poured his soul out. How sorry he was. It was never going to happen again. I know you can't forgive me and you shouldn't but I can't express how sorry I am. I was flabbergasted. Why was he doing this now? He had already left to move to Florida. He was only in Florida a day before this email shows up. I printed it out and went and showed it to my mom and dad. They read it, rolled their eyes, and told me to move on. They didn't want to see him hurt me again. Move on... was everyone crazy? I was meant to be with this boy. Through every painful conversation, through constant fights, I kept telling myself, I'm meant to be with this boy. I just have to stick through the pain, one day it WILL all be worth it.

I wrote back. "You told me to leave you alone, and I did, why are you telling me all this now" He wrote back, "because I love you, I never stopped loving you, your the best thing that ever happened to me, I never broke up with you to hurt you, I never meant anything I said when I was being mean, I HAD to do it, and now I am in Florida and you will be moving down here soon and we can be together and nothing can stop us." Oh, how I wish that were true, I thought. I let a day go by to think about it. Slowly everyday he started calling me, iming, emails, everyday... and slowly it was becoming great again. No one picked up the phone while we talked and we talked for hours when he wasn't working. The summer goes by and the end of August comes and it's time to move to Florida. Time to become a college girl. We packed up a U-Haul, my mom and dad, convinced my 2 closest friends, (Lexie and Terra) to come along for the trip.

Wes and I decided a few weeks before that we were going to be room mates. Live together and no one could tell us not to. After a great couple weeks with my family and my best friends at the beach and hanging out in Florida it was time for everyone to go home and it was time to get ready for school, when we hit a brick wall. I was all set. I had my diploma, my loans were approved, my enrollment fee was paid, my loans covered my living costs and food expenses, I was all set. When we realized Wesley had no way of paying for school. A week of depression goes by for him. He was so excited to start school and realize without funding he can not. So, one night I call my mom and explain the situation. He was approved for a school loan that will allow him to go but he needs a co-signer. After a long discussion about repayment my mom agrees to co-sign his student loan so we can attend college together. Thus begins our wild ride at Full Sail...

Come What May pt 3

It is nearing the end of Junior year, Wesley and I are thick as thieves. He decides from looking at pictures one day he wants to be introduced to my best friend (much to my chagrin) but who was I to say no.

Trying to make a really long story just a little bit shorter, my dream guy is now interested in my best friend and I start dating the epitome of an absolute worthless loser....

Junior Prom is coming and my two best friends are going together and I am going with Loser Boy. Yay me... It was one of the worst nights of my life I was absolutely miserable because I am there with a guy I don't even like, who I'm positive didn't like me, just because dumpy me, didn't think I could do any better. One long, wretched month goes by of me hating myself because I'm with this awful guy, who I don't even want to spend any time or energy on but again, don't think I can do any better so this is where my life must go. All the while spending all my free time with Wesley.

If I hang out w/Loser Boy, I insist Wesley comes with me. This guy treats me horribly and Wes asks me why I stay with him... because I can't do any better I say. Time goes by and every waking moment of free time is spent with Wes. We go to movies, dinners, he comes over to my house... all the while he says he is still interested in my best friend and I'm still dating.... barf.... loser boy.

One reason or another things don't work out between my friends and I get dumped by Loser Boy, YAY! I get dumped... by a worthless idiot, GO ME! I am really feeling like a winner now.

All my time is now spent with Wesley. It's summer time. We spend all night talking on the internet and most of our days running around being teenagers.... I remember the first time we went to El Campisinos he leaned over really close to me that his face was almost touching mine... and I looked up and he looked away. How sweet... I remember the time when we went to Kmart and got a slushie to share and then went over to Quonset Hut. I picked up the slushie and put it to my lips and took a drink of it, I was looking down while I did so to put my car in reverse... and Wes whispered to me that, that was "really sexy". And I looked up and he had a gleam in his eye and he was smiling that big beautiful smile of his... but, neither would admit to the other that we had feelings for one another.

Ha, I don't think I've mentioned to you about Wesley's obsession and one of the biggest reasons I didn't like him when he finally opened his mouth and started talking those first few days of class. I hope he doesn't get mad at me for divulging this, but, what's a good story without some naughty bits, *giggle* Wesley had an obsession. An obsession he wasn't shy in sharing with any and everybody. Wesley was tired of being a virgin and he didn't hold back on letting you know it. He talked about it constantly! It became the root of most our conversations over the internet that summer... and frankly, I was tired of hearing about it.

One night I got bold. I told him to shut up about it and just come over to my house already. He didn't say anything for at least 5 whole minutes. I thought I scared him away and almost started crying, lol, finally he typed back, "are you serious?" I started laughing thinking we were playing a game now and I said, yes, I am serious. Another minute goes by and he says, okay, I'll be there soon. Keep in mind it is 3:00 oclock in the morning, we are both minors and he is going for a jolly run to my house. With the blessing from his younger sister, he runs to my house. I pace my bedroom floor the whole time, leaving my computer im up thinking its only a matter of time before he hops back online and tells me "he was just kidding" About 40 minutes later, there is a knock on my window. On shaking legs I go over and open my window and he crawls through. Panting from running and looking oh so HOT, lol, I offer to get him some juice and he kindly accepts. I am walking to the kitchen shaking my head back and forth muttering, I can't believe this is happening. I take him back the juice and sit down on my couch. He sits down beside me and I turn mtv on. We make meaningless chat for awhile and watch music videos... (yes when there was music videos on mtv) but hes getting fidgety. Thinking he is trying to find an excuse to go back home, realizing he made a huge mistake, I start yawning and telling him how tired I am. He stands up quickly and just stands there. So, I turn the light off and crawl into my bed thinking he will allow himself permission now to head back home, claiming insanity to himself. I stare at the video on tv and wait for him to leave. The video on was: Sour Girl by Stone Temple Pilots and Wesley will be the first one to tell you that, he remembers it to this day and always thinks of me when he hears it. He is still standing there watching the tv so I turn around to look up at him, he looks down at me and kisses me upside down. (He still claims spiderman and mary jane stole the kiss from him, hehe) and you only get the rest of the story if you are a close personal friend and have heard all the juicy details already.... lol... sorry.

That's my story of how Wes and I met, became friends, and life mates.... That ends this chapter of the story. I will continue on *more than likely skipping our whole senior year because frankly it's too painful to write down*

Come What May pt 2

First day of my junior year comes and my dream guy sits down behind me. To this day I can't even tell you what it was I saw IN him. Don't take that the wrong way, I've always thought my husband was drop dead gorgeous, that's not what I meant. There was something I saw IN him, past the exterior that I knew was there. Some cosmic sign that this wasn't just some ordinary guy. He was meant to be mine. I still believe that.

You would not know that from the next 2 years happenings... but I will get there. He sat down behind me and I squirmed in my seat for an hour, trying so hard not to turn around and look at him every chance I got, *giggle*. Sadly, the bell rang and he eluded me for yet another day. It was alright, I had 2 years to get to know him, I told myself.

A few days went by, every day he sat behind me, everyday I fantasized about talking to him, and ... didn't. Time came that allowed us studio time, where some sat around a big table in the studio and gossiped. It's part of the telepro life, it's what you did. It was also one of the worst experiences in my life. I must have been the bitch from hell my junior year because NO ONE liked me. I shouldn't word it so harshly because I did make friends but at that damn table, everyday, I got yelled at, made fun of, talked down to, insulted, degraded, and everyday, like the dumb ass I was I would go back and sit at that damn table instead of taking a hint and finding something else to do.

It was at this table that I realized, I couldn't stand Wesley. Every time he opened his mouth I wanted to scream. We had NOTHING in common. He talked about anime, women with blonde hair and big tits and flat stomachs and hot bodies (all the time)... *he still denies it to this day that he did that... he still tells me he liked ALL women, I tell you, he is senile* regardless, he buddied up with the few guys at that damn table that talked down to me the most. Although, he never said anything bad or mean to me, I just took it as he might as well have, and boy did the depression sink in then.

I fell heavily into my "GOTH" phase and didn't look back. I kept to myself, dyed my hair, wore the makeup, clothing and jewelery of a hardcore Goth, scared parents, and in everyone's eyes (except my dear parents of course) I became a God loathing, Devil Worshiping, evil being. I had no friends (that doesn't count the friends I still had in Louisville that I held on tightly to, scared their parents, but still held on, hehe). I went through my junior year in a daze. I really hated Telepro. Although I adored the class, I hated pretty much everyone in it, from the constant put downs and hard times the few of them put me through. I clung to the few decent people that I befriended and dragged my heels to the end of the year.

Spring time came and I spent A LOT of time in my car. I loved my car. It was the one thing that I could count on for me to love and love me in return (never am I talking about my parents because they've loved me unconditionally through EVERYTHING!!) but, hey, Heather has a car... so I became a little more popular with my Telepro classmates, because we got to get out for DECA meetings. No one wanted to drive with the teachers so my car was usually PACKED. So, who should choose to drive with me every time we went somewhere? You guessed it, Wesley. Through this alone we became acquaintances. Until the day he came into telepro looking like someone shot his best friend....

I took one look at him, dragging his heels, looking down in the dumps and I got up out of my seat and did the unthinkable... I went up to him and hugged him to me. To my surprise, he hugged me back, fiercely. I will never say what it was he was down in the dumps about because that's not my place, ever, but he opened up to me after that. His story poured out during free time. He poured his soul out to me, tears running down his face, and I just listened. I didn't judge him, I didn't comment, I just listened. Every thing changed after that.

Every day that he would come into class I would get up and give him a big hug. He always hugged me back. (Oh he got made fun of for it too, believe me....) luckily Wesley is immune to teasing and insults. I started taking him home after school and we became really good friends.

Late in the spring was time to make our music videos. Wesley was one popular guy and starred in almost everyone's music videos. But, when it came time for him to make his video no one would help HIM, but me. He never did get that video finished because of all the videos he helped everyone else make.

One really nice day a group of the boys were out back making a music video. I went out to my car that day, happy to get in my beloved car and go home. While waiting in line to leave the school a teacher came up to me and informs me I have eggs all over the back of my car. Completely embarrassed while everyone walks by laughing I quickly drive home and immediately park my car and run in crying to my daddy. I didn't want to look at it alone... my daddy comes outside with me and we both stand there stunned. Dried egg and egg shells are all over my car. Baking in the sun all day. I start crying hard and he runs to get the hose and prays to God my paint job isn't ruined. As he is washing my car he gets to the gas tank door, opens it up to find tons of eggs crammed into my gas tank. Oh buddy, is he pissed! If you know anything about my daddy he doesn't let ANYONE screw with me. He tells me to do some investigating and figure out who did it to my car and he'll have a little talk with their parents about ruining the paint job and possible the engine of my car from the eggs. I have no idea where to start.

I go to school utterly depressed the next day. Wondering who it is that is laughing behind my back. I get to class with my heels dragging and feeling utterly sorry for myself. I sit down in my seat and Wesley walks past me and I don't even look up. He sits down behind me and taps me on the shoulder. I turn around and his smile fades. He said, "I was going to ask where my hug was but you look like you need one instead" I angrily tell him about my car and watch as all the color drains from his face. He tells me, "we'll talk about it later."

Later comes and he asks me for a ride home from school. On the way home, he tells me he knows who egged my car. I ask him how he knows and he says, because I was there. I immediately start crying because he tells me he was in on the egging. I cry and ask him why he didn't tell me when it happened if he was there. He just looks down and ignores the question. I go home, tell my mom who did it and she takes care of it.

Oh, the boys were mad at this... Wesley obviously ratted them out. He didn't care though. He pretended like everything was normal and separated himself from the group. That was the day he became my best friend.

To be Continued....

Come What May

I think I will begin my first story of many from the beginning. Well, not the very beginning, but the beginning of my life as it is now. How I met my Wesley.

My story actually starts all the way back in 1996/1997. For reasons I don't really feel the need to divulge my mom and I moved to Massillon in the summer of 1996. I was so mad at her because she was taking me away from a life I dearly wanted to live, I had my first boyfriend, wonderful friends, decent grades, and it was rare for me to have these things. Friends were always somehow out of my grasp. It always seemed like when I made one they were ripped away

(Ex: 1.) My best friend in the 3rd grade moved to Las Vegas after one year of our friendship. 2.) My best friend in the 4th grade moved to Canton South after one year of friendship. 3.) I grasped at straws to make friends my 6th grade year. I did manage to have a boyfriend who actually was a really decent guy. To this day I sometimes wonder how different my life would have been if I stayed in Louisville (either good or bad)... 4.) The first day of 7th grade I was locker partners with Shawna, somehow we quickly became friends and started my 7th grade year of right. But, it was nothing like the friendship I started with my then and now (whether she believes it or not) life long best friend, Terra. We were inseparable. Her friendship meant EVERYTHING to me it still does, regardless, I became best friends with her and find out that summer we are moving 45 minutes away to Massillon *one year after befriending Terra*.)

I tell you now, that things DO happen for a reason. Because on my very first day of 8th Grade in Massillon at Lorin Andrews Middle School, I was walking up to the building and to the door and of all people, the first person to make contact with me was, you guessed it, My Wesley. He opened the door for me. What a gentleman. Of course he doesn't remember that but why should he remember opening the door for an overweight, under dressed, depressed looking 8th grader, hell, I wouldn't remember me either. I remembered him though. Months later when I actually made a friend I asked them his name. I didn't have any classes with him, just kind of admired him from a far the rest of the year. Fast Forward to our Sophomore year, one of my closest friends my sophomore year was coming out of a class straight to me, giggling, she said, "you won't believe what just happened to me?" Used to my friends always being 10,000,000 times better looking then me, I figured it had to do with a boy. While giggling she said, "this weird guy just played a song for me on his walkman, and when it was over, asked me out, it really freaked me out." Thinking it was one of the sweetest things, I asked her who the poor sap was, she said, "oh I think his name is Wes Weygandt." My jaw hit the floor. Of course it was. This one guy who's eluded me for almost 3 years now, still hadn't even met him one on one, of course he liked her, why not, just my luck. I wanted to cry. I told her she was being mean and I walked away, pouting as I went. Fast Forward to the end of Sophomore year. Teleproductions! My coveted class I wanted to be in so very badly. At the time I wanted to be a radio disc jockey (I still have a great voice (and face) for radio.), and I just HAD to be in that class. I was so nervous to walk up to the classroom to look at the class roster for the next year, whether I made it after my audition or not. I walk up to the door and hunt down my name. *IT'S THERE!* I was so elated. So, since my nerves were back in check I scanned the rest of the class list. Passed by a few names that I rolled my eyes at and reached the last name on the list, Wesley Weygandt. I almost fell down. As excited as I was for myself, it was nothing compared to the joy I felt that I was FINALLY going to meet him. Two years in the same class with him he HAD to get to know me. Summer drug by so slowly. I was so excited to start my class. First time I've ever been excited for school to start. I got dressed that first day of school and headed in on cloud 9. My first class drug by and then when the bell rang I FLEW to the H Wing. It was time for Telepro... it was time to meet HIM face to face. My friend sits down so I took a seat behind her and waited patiently for him. Just when I start to think I made a mistake about him being in my class, he walks in, and where does he sit? Why, right behind me. I thought I was going to faint. 20+ seats to choose from and he sits BEHIND me. To this day I still believe had he not sat behind me we wouldn't be where we are today.

TO BE CONTINUED....

Who's Afraid of the Boogie Man?

I can see that I am on the fast track to addiction. I love to write and I never allow myself an outlet to vent and to tell a story that I just so desperately need to do sometimes. I actually very recently came up with a great idea for a short story/novel. I refuse to post anything about it until I write it because, while I was at Full Sail I wrote a screen play for "The Boogieman". About a boy who was afraid of the boogie man all the way into adulthood & I talked about it often with Wes in between classes where we would brainstorm. I wanted to vomit when "Boogieman" came out in 2005. It was my story. Of course mine was written differently but it was the same basic story. To this day Wes thinks I had big ears listening in to me at Full Sail. Who knows. It's not like Boogieman was a multi million dollar production, but it was MY idea. I wrote the screen play in early 2001 and perfected it along the year... still makes me sad, mine would have been better. I had the idea for a Boogie Man movie ever since I was a child and the Ghost busters cartoon episode of the Boogieman was on. No one had ever done it and children were TERRIFIED of the boogieman. My movie would have been horrifying. But, hell, we'll never know because someone stole my idea. Don't ever talk about a great movie or book idea in a school full of future film makers, it may bite you in the ass.

What is love?

- The perfect UNION of two souls

- When you can't live without the other person

- A feeling of intense sexual desire and attraction toward another

- An energy so pure that it makes life want to happen

- When the destiny of two becomes one

Whatever it is that you may define love to be I can only tell you that it is one of the greatest feelings in the world. Especially when something happens to make you fall in love with that person all over again...

I am a thinker.. a dreamer.. a worrier.. a visionary.. I find great passion in all things beautiful... But like the old saying, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." I find many different things to be very beautiful that many others would not agree with.... beauty to me is in The Sky. Clouds, Stars, The Sun, the moon, whether it be a clear blue day or storm clouds are brewing.... Beauty is in a clear Fall Day. Blowing Leaves against a gentle breeze in a large majestic tree... Beauty is in a single flower among a meadow of grass. Beauty is in the smile of your children. When they are completely happy and loving you. And Beauty is in the one you LOVE.

****

Wes and I have been together for 10 years this July. Married for 7 in October. And there are times when I fall more in love with him than ever before.

Our relationship was not perfect. We fought very very hard to be together. I really wish that I could erase the last 4 or 5 months of senior year because it hurts me to much to remember it. But that just tells me that we are worthy of being together. We earned the right to be in love and to be as one. But I don't want to remember that....

I want to remember back when we were best friends. Back when we did everything together. Back when we loved each other unconditionally but never told the other... I remember the first time we went to El Campisinos *which is our place btw* he leaned over really close to me that his face was almost touching mine... and I looked up and he looked away. How sweet...

I remember the time when we went to Kmart and got a slushie to share and then went over to Quonset Hut. I picked up the slushie and put it to my lips and took a drink of it, I was looking down while I did so to put my car in reverse... and Wes whispered to me that, that was "really sexy". And I looked up and he had a gleam in his eye and he was smiling that big beautiful smile of his...

Its funny now to realize how many signs did I need to have to see that this man was Flirting? I always had it in my head that no one would ever like me but Wes always made me feel beautiful. He always makes me feel special. And that is a big part of what love is...

This man will work all day long and will still go out at midnight if I ask him to get me a milkshake or an ice cream cone. He's the type of man who will see a book in the store I had been talking about and buy it and bring it home for me. He's the type of man who will see my favorite candy and bring it home to me for no reason at all, other than he knows that I like them. He's the type of man who will buy me fuzzy kitties because I love them even though he really doesn't like animals... and he's the man who gave me 3 stunningly gorgeous babies. With big beautiful eyes, silky soft hair, perfect skin, the longest eye lashes, kind and loving personalities, lovely lips, and incredibly intelligence.

I do just as much for this man as well... but that's irrelevant..

So what is love to me? Finding someone who is your best friend. Someone you aren't afraid to share your hopes and fears with... someone who will laugh with you, who will cry with you, who will understand when your hurting and will help you through it, The one who will understand you inside and out. Who will know when your angry and leave you alone. Or hold you close and let you cry on their shoulder. Who will see the best in you when your at your worst. Who will be your biggest fan and believe in you no matter what. Who will make you feel beautiful when all you feel is ugly. Who will understand your in love with Johnny Depp but their okay with that, and they just buy you all of his action figures and movies. When your friends can be their friends and that's okay, and if they can't, you come to realize they weren't that good of friends in the first place. This person will watch your favorite tv show with you just so you have someone to discuss it with when it's over. This person will suffer through a combination of 27 months of pregnancy, all together, and still would go out at 2 am because you had a craving for a peanut butter Sundae, they would rub your feet or back and listen to you bitch about how tired you are of being pregnant. But then they will be there from the minute that baby is born and hold and love them. And still take care of you. Help you to the shower and into bed. Help you change your bandages and put medicine on your wound. Take the baby so you can get some extra sleep... Feed them and change them and provide the best possible life they can for them. And even buy them brand new clothes even though your first baby has clothes that are brand new and never worn... And would gladly do it.

I am so happy to have found this man. And I love him unconditionally..... He is what love is to me....

Another day in Lonerville

I read these blogs all the time so I finally decided, why not? I will make my own and have fun doing it. Maybe I will learn some more about myself along the way.

A quick introduction... my name is Heather, I am 26 years old (27 on February 12), I am married to my high school sweet-heart, Wesley, for 6 years now (we will be together 10 years in July, I find this a great personal accomplishment because, hey, no one thought we'd make it this long, well I shouldn't say no one...).

My Wesley is in his 6th year with the United States Air Force (more to come on the trials of being a military spouse to come...)

At the age of 19 in the middle of 16 hour days at Full Sail, Wesley gave me the most precious gift he has ever given me, my first child, my daughter, Serenity Autumn, who is now 7 years old. One month into Wesley's Tech School, I conceived my son, Draven Wyatt (apparently he was planned, guess Wes forgot to clue me in on THAT), who is now 5, and a year into living in New Mexico (our first permanent base, which I despised, more to come with that later too) was conceived my youngest daughter, Adora Phoebe who is now 3 and believe it or not, my biggest surprise.

My family means EVERYTHING to me. When I say everything, I do mean my world revolves around each one of them. Along with my husband and 3 beautiful children, I have parents who mean every bit to me as my kids do. It is their unconditional love and understanding that gets me through life in general.

I decided to start one of these blogs to write down everyday turmoil in the face of being a military spouse and also to write stories about my life that got me here to this point. Happy Reading.