Surviving Full Sail

College has began. I am here, this is where I want to be, everything is going great, Wes and I are back together, no more fights, we start going 4-8 hours a day. We get an after school job at Spirit Halloween over the fall, fun times. October comes and Wesley decides, he wants to marry me. He allows me to pick out my engagement ring and we start making payments on it. $1,500 later in payments and my ring becomes mine. In the middle of the crowded Florida mall Wesley gets down on one knee and asks me to be his wife. I'm beaming. He's all mine. One day he will be my husband and all will be right with the world.

Until we decide to go home over fall break. We head home for a week, no one knowing but my mom and daddy, and surprise everyone. I stay by his side through everything, through every visit to family and friend, where he asked me to be. No visit going well and only ending in my heartache he decides to stop visiting people.

We get a hold of our good friend Don and decide to head up to Akron with him for one of the play off games, the game goes by with a Massillon Defeat and my Football loving man is down in the dumps... nothing like he is about to be, though. One of the biggest most outrageous fights that still makes me queasy commenced right there in the football stands. Wesley is looking down at his feet the whole time muttering under his breath. He finally looks up at me, looks me right in the eye and asks me to give him my engagement ring, that he is so sick of this and it's not going to happen again. I blatantly refuse. I am not giving him the engagement ring that I helped pay for, he isn't doing this to me again. Crying my eyes out I keep repeating over and over, not again, not again, don't do this to me again, you promised, never again, over and over I said it. I always think now that it should have been my final straw. I really should have said okay, gave him the damn ring and walked away, because he promised, he was NEVER going to hurt me again and here I am again, like a sap standing there getting screamed at from 10 directions only looking at Wes and telling him to forgive ME! Nonsense now... but I didn't think so then. He finally prys himself away from the scene and starts walking back to Don's car. Me like the good dog I was, right on his heels. He isn't talking to me, he isn't talking to anyone. We wait by Don's car for him to come out of the booth from announcing the game, opposite sides. Tears are running down my face as I wait. Don finally comes. I sit in the back seat alone and stare out the window in a stunned daze the whole way home.

Now, I pride myself in having a terrific memory. I remember everything like an elephant. But, for the life of me I do not remember what happens after that, what discussion we had that made it all better. I do however remember not coming home for anymore visits until school is over. My mom and dad came to us for Wes's birthday, Christmas, and they sent Terra down to spend my birthday with me.

It is the week of my birthday when our lives changed. I became pregnant with my daughter Serenity. I was only 19. I still had 8 months of school to get through but I was never scared. I was so excited. I didn't plan it, I didn't mean for it to happen, but God did.

The next 7 months were pretty unbearable though. 16 hour days at Full Sail began. I wasn't eating enough or getting enough sleep. I was always exhausted and I landed myself in the hospital a few times. School ends and I am now 8 months pregnant and ready to go home...

My mom and dad come get us, pack us up and we head home. 8 months pregnant, engaged to the love of my life and no idea how I am going to support my family with a baby due in less then a month...