Hot damn, 5 hours of sleep later, let's continue on with my story... (I have a horrible sleep schedule, you will learn that as we go on....)
Let's try to get through the really painful parts as quick as possible. The summer of 2000 was one of the best of my life. My best friend had become my boyfriend (I still say it was so unromantic the way he asked me too, lol, we were on the phone chatting, and he said, "so, I was talking to my buddy Drew about you, and he asked me if we were just friends or if you were my girlfriend, so which are you?" I kind of scoffed at it and asked him, "is this your way of asking me?" He said, "yeah". So, this was sometime around the end of June, but since I can't remember the exact date of the conversation I always say our official date of relationship was on July 4, 2000, our first actual date and day spent with each other. We had so much fun that summer. Late night runs to my house almost every night, phone conversations that went on for hours, movies and dinners and just being together, I never felt like this before. School starts and everything is just as great. Walking to classes hand and hand, kisses in the hall way, private jokes, and there was never a doubt in my mind that this boy loved me as much as I loved him. Our first homecoming dance was amazing and so much fun...
then fall hits and shit hits the fan.... fast forward from November through May, and one of the absolute worst and most painful times in my life, ups and downs, constant break ups and make ups, and like an idiot, every time he broke my heart, I went back for more. Winter homecoming was dreadful and painful, a horrible trip to Disney where even there he couldn't relax, after 7 months of walking through most of my life in a painful haze the end of the school year comes and I find out I failed my world history class. Of course it is the class I always had right next door to Wes. Of course this was the class that I read all my break up notes and why it was best for both of us and hearing what a terrible person I was. Gee, I can't imagine how I managed to fail that class with how well my life was going. So, because of that class, I couldn't graduate. (I still have nightmares about it, I still wake up in tears from those dreams when I find out I can not graduate, but, like the idiot I was I went to my graduation ceremony, for my friends to support them, and for him....)
Graduation ends and I go up to congratulate him before anyone else can. He quickly tells me he will meet me later that night and dashes off so he isn't seen with me. That was the end. He never came that night. A week went by with sparse phone calls, his graduation party I was not allowed to attend, and me sitting around waiting for him and doing a lot of crying. He finally calls to set up a date to go to the drive in. He has our friend Chris and his girlfriend pick him up so we can all go together. This my friends, was the end of it all... or so I thought.
Chris shows up at my house in a stunned stupor. He tells me that Wes isn't coming and one hell of a fight broke out before his eyes. I thank him for coming and go sit down in my chair and weep. Not 5 minutes later I get the worst phone call I've ever received in my life.... from him. "You ruined my life!" "You have to leave me alone" "We can't even be friends" "Don't call me, I have to cut all ties with you" "Leave me ALONE" ... click... I lose it. Enduring 7 months of pain for it to end like this. I sit down in the corner and cry my eyes out. Hysterically sobbing to where I can't catch my breath, hyperventilating before my mothers eyes. Helpless, she tells me to forget him, I don't need the pain anymore, it's over and I can move on with my life.
I continue to live after this... not well, but I survive each day. I start sleeping with my mom for awhile and I stop eating. (I know what your thinking... you need to stop eating... haha funny...) June starts dragging by. An endless summer I don't want to endure. Summer school at McKinley High School. The worst part is, I know if I don't receive my diploma before the end of summer then I can't start at Full Sail in September. I drag myself up early every morning and drive over to McKinley where I spend my summer in a history class. A perfect A later I can receive my diploma. Every night for a month I sit down under the big oak tree in my back yard and pray he will change his mind, that just once he will come to see me so we can talk, so it doesn't seem so final.
June 15 (and I remember the date because it was my mom and dad's wedding anniversary) we go out to dinner to celebrate their anniversary. When we get home the caller i.d. is flashing, I pick the phone up to see who the call was from.... it was him... he called me and I missed it.... I was heart broken. I sat around the rest of the day and prayed the phone would ring again, but, it didn't.
A few days go by and I start noticing his aim is starting to show up in the box again. He hadn't had internet for over 6 months. I ignored it because I did what he told me to do.... I left him alone... I never called, wrote, texted, e-mailed, I did what HE asked me to do, I let him go. Not 20 minutes later from noticing he was online I received an email.
He poured his soul out. How sorry he was. It was never going to happen again. I know you can't forgive me and you shouldn't but I can't express how sorry I am. I was flabbergasted. Why was he doing this now? He had already left to move to Florida. He was only in Florida a day before this email shows up. I printed it out and went and showed it to my mom and dad. They read it, rolled their eyes, and told me to move on. They didn't want to see him hurt me again. Move on... was everyone crazy? I was meant to be with this boy. Through every painful conversation, through constant fights, I kept telling myself, I'm meant to be with this boy. I just have to stick through the pain, one day it WILL all be worth it.
I wrote back. "You told me to leave you alone, and I did, why are you telling me all this now" He wrote back, "because I love you, I never stopped loving you, your the best thing that ever happened to me, I never broke up with you to hurt you, I never meant anything I said when I was being mean, I HAD to do it, and now I am in Florida and you will be moving down here soon and we can be together and nothing can stop us." Oh, how I wish that were true, I thought. I let a day go by to think about it. Slowly everyday he started calling me, iming, emails, everyday... and slowly it was becoming great again. No one picked up the phone while we talked and we talked for hours when he wasn't working. The summer goes by and the end of August comes and it's time to move to Florida. Time to become a college girl. We packed up a U-Haul, my mom and dad, convinced my 2 closest friends, (Lexie and Terra) to come along for the trip.
Wes and I decided a few weeks before that we were going to be room mates. Live together and no one could tell us not to. After a great couple weeks with my family and my best friends at the beach and hanging out in Florida it was time for everyone to go home and it was time to get ready for school, when we hit a brick wall. I was all set. I had my diploma, my loans were approved, my enrollment fee was paid, my loans covered my living costs and food expenses, I was all set. When we realized Wesley had no way of paying for school. A week of depression goes by for him. He was so excited to start school and realize without funding he can not. So, one night I call my mom and explain the situation. He was approved for a school loan that will allow him to go but he needs a co-signer. After a long discussion about repayment my mom agrees to co-sign his student loan so we can attend college together. Thus begins our wild ride at Full Sail...
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